Awesome: The American Optometric Association Has Announced That Eye Floaters Are Just Little Friends Coming To Say Hello

Another Near-Disaster: Newark Airport Has Revealed That A Flight’s Entire Crew And Passengers Took Off This Morning Without Their Plane

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lorde

Pam Bondi: ‘What Is The DOJ Hiding?’

Something Forbidden Stirs Deep Within Trump After He Sees Political Cartoon Depicting Him As Chicken

Lack Of Concrete Dinner Plans Leaves Power Vacuum Filled By Radical Pro-Tapas Fanatics

Dad Spends Retirement Untangling Big Mess Of Wires

Texas Politicians Used Burner Email To Request FEMA Funds

Why nobody must be punished for the Post Office scandal, by anyone in any kind of power

A practical guide to claiming all those lovely benefits it's so easy to get

Nobody enjoying self-written vows less than bride and groom

'Oh God, does this mean I've got to go back on the game?' asks Geri

Holidays, breathing, feeling sad: Six things clever Gen Z have invented for us all

A white home counties roadman 'as been chosen to be a bossman ball boy at da Wimbledon tennis ting

Couple paying cash at cash-free restaurant to see what they f**king do

Amy Gledhill 'to join LOL: Last One Laughing'

Blackmailer targets major comedy star

Channel 4 to launch a dedicated comedy channel

Nick Mohammed signs up for You Bet!

Official: Scrubs is making a comeback

Meet the new CEO of X: this ouija board that speaks directly to Hitler's ghost

Their Marriage’s Saving Grace: 4 Times Dad Tried To Cheat On Mom But Failed Because He Has No Game And Lives In A Chicken Coop

Jack Docherty films a second series of The Chief

Tom Allen writes his first novel

Second series for Do Gooders

Book deal for Jess Robinson

Grok invades Poland