In a move that would make even the most secretive spy envious, Texas politicians have reportedly resorted to using a burner email to request disaster funds from FEMA. Following last week's catastrophic floods, the state's elected officials, eager to avoid a red-faced moment in front of their conservative colleagues, allegedly set up an anonymous email account, floodmoney@hotmail.com, to ask for over $70 million in assistance.

Governor Greg Abbott, in what could only be described as a covert operation, supposedly admitted to using incognito mode in his browser and even typed 'DISCREET' in the subject line of the email. In an effort to keep the whole affair hush-hush, he reportedly asked FEMA to send the funds via prepaid cards, which victims could nonchalantly dispose of afterwards.

While Abbott seemed confident that his cloak-and-dagger approach would remain undiscovered (he even wrote 'delete after reading' at the end of his email), the real kicker is that the officials have yet to distribute the funds, remaining too embarrassed by their state's need for basic necessities like food and shelter.