Known as the Best Dealmaker the World Has Ever Known, Donald Trump is beginning to realize that starting a war with a hostile nation of 90 million people is a tad more complex than buying an apartment block in Manhattan. Just weeks after bombing a sovereign nation without considering the consequences, Trump was reportedly juggling calls for immediate NATO assistance while simultaneously asserting that he didn't need their help. Experts have humorously dubbed this negotiation technique as 'an absolute fucking shambles.'

With the situation worsening, Trump's strategy of threatening to walk away from the deal was met with a reminder from aides that he was dealing with a Middle Eastern war, not a real estate contract. One negotiation expert noted, "Shouting until they fold may work for hotel deals, but it's not so effective against a regime that literally wants to destroy you."

Despite the criticism, MAGA enthusiasts insist Trump knows what he's doing. "Oil prices are rising, international trade is under threat, people are dying, and everything is getting worse. As usual, Trump has all the leverage here," said one supporter. Another agreed, pointing out that Iran controls vital oil routes and possesses drones that are costly for the U.S. to intercept, suggesting Trump is, once again, 'holding all the cards.'