Right-wingers are calling for a merger between the Conservatives and Reform. But what could be the name of such an unholy union?

Stephen Malley, lecturer: “Hm. Let me get out my Complete HP Lovecraft.”

Margaret Gerving, retired: “Torrform. Retorry. Rectory. Forms in the Rectory. Formative Retorts. Conform Servativory. Conserve It For Rory. I’m sorry, what was the question?”

Wayne Hayes, rigger: “Veritas. And if you get that joke, a tip of my twatting hat to you.”

Sophie Rodriguez, student: “It should be like Whizzer & Chips, where they shared a comic but each half was at constant war with the other to decide which was best. Sorry, I should have said it will be like Whizzer & Chips.”

Martin Bishop, baggage handler: “Why don’t they go for something popular, like Fleetwood Mac?”