TRUMP'S war with Iran is jeopardizing supplies of the planet-destroying fuel we all love. So how are you marking the end of plentiful oil?

Kelly Howard, radiographer: 'I'm pushing a barrel to the top of a hill in a wheelbarrow to watch a sunset together. Even in these final days, you can make beautiful memories.'

James Bates, plasterer: 'By spilling industrial quantities of it into the sea for old times' sake. Plus it gives those animal rescue dossers something to do.'

Bill McKay, stockbroker: 'Enjoying it while it lasts. I've oiled all the hinges in our house, last night my wife and I had a romantic bath in petrol, and on Sunday we're taking the kids for a fun-filled day at diesel-fired Lerwick Power Station.'

Lucy Parry, unemployed: 'I'm in denial. And when it's finally gone, I'll get into a toxic rebound relationship with nuclear energy.'

Francesca Johnson, florist: 'Oil will never truly be gone. It will live on in our hearts and the irreparable damage we've done to the environment.'