The holy Saint Mary has been criticized by the US Department of Health & Human Services for putting the birth of Christ at risk by taking Tylenol during her pregnancy. Mary, age usually omitted, was on the road to Bethlehem for a government census when she first treated her fever symptoms with the popular painkiller. As a result, Secretary of Health Robert F. Kennedy Jr fears Mary’s child will be born with unusual abilities and special skills.

“Christ, is everyone going to tell me what to do with this kid? First an angel, and now some guy with a brain worm wants me to power through a cold while pregnant? Give me a break,” said the Blessed Mother.

Matters got worse for Mary, however, when the US Government instructed local innkeepers in Bethlehem to refuse her entry as retribution for speaking out against the administration’s health stance.

“Today we stopped a RADICALISED WOMAN from GIVING BIRTH COMFORTABLY. If anyone wants to BECOME THE MOTHER OF GOD then do it the way GOD INTENDED: without TYLENOL! MAKE JESUS GREAT AGAIN” tweeted the President.