War strategist Donald Trump has reached out to one of his most trusted intelligence agents, FIFA boss Gianni Infantino, to see if he can work his magic on the current situation re: Iran.

With a stunning track record for denying reality and the rule of law, as well as a propensity for the cheeky bit of corruption here and there, the head of FIFA has become one of Trump’s closest wartime allies. But could he be the ultimate weapon the President has been looking for since the war began?

“If he can reverse something like a red card for the first time in decades, what’s to say he can’t just Control Z the entire war?” Trump pondered with the press.

“That type of power makes him an incredible asset, and if we want to win this war — that I’ve decided we’re starting again BTW — we need to use every weapon in our arsenal.”

Trump later confirmed he’d discussed the matter with Infantino in a Truth social post: “I have spoken to Mr FIFA about the situation in the Middle East and asked him to overturn the result. RED CARDS FOR IRAN!!!”

However, some critics say Infantino's ability to overturn the war is overestimated, with many analysts projecting the final score will ultimately be Iran 2, America nil.