Waking up with a hangover so intense its radioactive energy causes the authorities to seal off Lambeth with soldiers in hazmat suits, the Archbishop of Canterbury reflects on a tumultuous week. After a brief and ill-advised alliance with Nigel Farage, he publicly retracts his support, humorously admitting, "Sorry, Farage, you can fuck off."

The article continues with a satirical take on global politics, including Donald Trump's plans to acquire Greenland and Elon Musk's controversial antics. The piece jabs at the absurdity of these figures' actions, comparing political maneuvers to farcical theatre.

The article also critiques media personalities like Amol Rajan and the reality of British politics, weaving humor into its commentary on current events. It's a comedic yet biting satire of the complexities and ironies of today's political landscape.