Scientists No Closer To Uncovering Where Friend Finds These Bozos

In a comedic twist on the world of scientific inquiry, a team of researchers at the University of Wisconsin is scratching their heads over a puzzling question: where does their friend Lisa Pullman find her seemingly endless parade of peculiar friends? Professor Robert Sforza has dubbed this phenomenon the 'circus paradox,' as each new acquaintance of Lisa's seems to outdo the last in sheer oddity.

'Despite years of extensive research, we still lack even a rudimentary understanding of how Lisa meets these absolute duds,' said Sforza, bemused by the array of individuals Lisa has introduced to their social circle. The team has yet to identify any clear patterns or commonalities among these characters, making each encounter a new surprise.

'She claims she met the last guy in line at the Home Depot, which is, like, come on, girl,' Sforza exclaimed. The situation escalated when Lisa brought one such character to a dinner party, where he allegedly made off with some of the host's silverware. Without further support from the scientific community, Sforza fears this mystery may remain unsolved within their friend's lifetime.

Source: The Onion (USA)

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