Australia has millions more women than first expected, a post-election analysis by the Liberal Party has found.

“That was the big miss for us,” a spokesperson for the Liberal Party’s Post Election Review Committee conceded. “We thought women made up five, maybe ten percent of the population. But turns out it’s actually much higher than that – maybe even as high as 40%”.

He said the post-mortem had been an eye-opener for many within the party. “Sussan Ley is a woman, obviously, we knew that. And we knew about Jenny And The Girls, of course. And there’s that annoying girl who didn’t smile when she met Scott Morrison on Australia Day – she is one too. But we didn’t expect them to be quite so prevalent across the country. They’re everywhere!”

He said it wasn’t the party’s fault that they had totally miscalculated the number of women. “I just wish they’d made themselves more known, made some more noise. Had they done that we could’ve got Peter to dress up as a woman and do some ironing or cleaning for the cameras, to make them feel more included”.

The party says it will act immediately on the findings of the report, just as soon as Kathy on the front desk has typed it up.