Kevin Rudd has resigned from his position as Australian Ambassador to the US, with the former PM explaining everything in a succinct half-a-million-word press release.

In his own words, Rudd clarified the resignation was “punctiliously evaluated for optimal bi-lateral efficacy, following appropriate processes and natural complementarity, as a vital repudiation to the contemporary proclivities of the residing executive branch.”

As well as his reasons for leaving, the 470,000-word document also included samples of Rudd’s poetry, a list of his least favourite cafes in Washington, and a 14-page outline of why Julia Gillard can’t be trusted. Footnotes and references were not included in the final word count, and the statement is also available in Mandarin.

During a press conference, Rudd refrained from answering any questions and instead directed journalists to his pre-written statement.

“If you check subsection 172.9—B of my press release, you’ll find I already addressed how my resignation impacts the output of the Somalian maritime industry. God, it’s like you don’t read anything,” Rudd jabbed at the press.

Mr Rudd said he looks forward to using his newfound free time to practice his handball skills, and spend more time being right about everything.