All day long, from dawn till dusk, the wheelie bin outside my house has become the unexpected celebrity of the neighbourhood. Attracting influencers like moths to a flame, it's turned into a hotspot for TikTok videos. I understand, it's a striking bin model with its gunmetal gray body and unusual blue lid, but enough is enough!

Every spring, as soon as the sun hits the right angle, a queue of influencers with their designer bags and stylists line up to pose with it, making a spectacle out of my simple waste disposal unit. I'm left awkwardly holding a dustpan, waiting for a chance to actually use my bin.

Some even travel from as far as Nagoya, insisting on draping themselves over the bin for that perfect shot. It's madness! They even try to film themselves throwing away fancy cupcake boxes, which I strictly forbid due to limited space.

The noise is relentless too, with chatter in numerous languages outside my window as boyfriends are ordered to climb and lie down for the best shot. Kissing the bin? That's just plain unhygienic.

What can I do? It's not like I can lock the bin away. It needs to be out for collection every fortnight. So, if you spot my famous bin on TikTok, just know I'm the slightly stooped guy in the background, begrudgingly sharing my wheelie bin's global fame.