Australia has been rocked by accusations that The Wiggles – a group of grown adults who have spent more than three decades conversing with a giant yellow dinosaur and dancing with a purple Octopus called Henry – may somehow be linked to recreational drug use.

The Wiggles have been embroiled in controversy since appearing in a controversial TikTok video featuring the song ‘Ecstasy’. But the group, who built their career on songs about fruit salad, mashed potatoes, and a man who rides around shouting “Toot toot chugga chugga,” strongly denied the claims.

“We’re shocked. We definitely do not condone drugs,” a Wiggles spokesperson said. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go rehearse with a dragon who plays the bagpipes.”

Fans say the accusations don't add up, pointing out that The Wiggles stuff is way weirder than anything anyone would come up with on drugs. “I’ve done plenty of MDMA in my time, but I’ve never come up with the idea for a unicorn who loves rainbow-coloured vegetables, or a dog who dances professionally,” one parent said.

Authorities confirmed that, after a thorough investigation, they found no illegal substances, only several tonnes of ethically sourced fruit and a mute dinosaur in a tutu.

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Headline by Matt Harvey