In recognition of the rising cost-of-living pressures Australians face, the Government has announced it will halve the excise on Lindt Gold Bunny chocolates, reducing their price by 26 cents a litre. As the Iran war puts a strain on international supply chains, the national cabinet realised they needed to act fast to keep up with Aussies’ demands for chocolate fuel this Easter.

“It’s gotten so expensive that I started working from home and avoiding unnecessary trips, just to afford one Lindt Bunny to share between four kids,” shared one Gold Coast mother.

In response, the national cabinet met today to address this dire need for Australian consumers.

“Holy fuck, they’re charging WHAT for one rabbit?” Treasurer Jim Chalmers exclaimed after seeing the $20 price tag for 200g of chocolate.

“To hell with that. Can we halve the excise or something? I need my sweet treats,” said the Prime Minister.

Though economists debate whether the product’s steep price is due to supply chain shortages or Lindt price gouging, there is consensus that it’s infinitely better than eating the cheap shit.