ENGLAND fans are confident they would have slotted a dozen goals past Spain if they had not already lost to a better team.

Judging by how Tuchel’s squad hammered France 6-4, supporters are convinced they would have totally trounced Spain in the final, so they are the real World Cup champions if you think about it.

Martin Bishop said: “We smashed France in a game they didn’t care about, so winning by a dozen goals is hardly wishful thinking. We just needed a chain of pivotal events to go our way.

“If we didn’t piss away our lead in the semi-final by playing defensively, if Messi hadn’t been born, and if Argentina was never formed as a nation-state in 1816, football would be coming home right now. We were so, so close.

“Then victory against Spain would’ve been a certainty. Kane and Bellingham would’ve breezed a few hat tricks into the back of the net in the first ten minutes. Even Pickford would’ve headered a couple in by half time.

“Beckham would probably have invaded the pitch to score a few too. Then FIFA would’ve given us the World Cup to keep forever and the ghost of Sir Bobby Charlton would’ve accepted it on our behalf.

“This only didn’t happen because Argentina are nasty, shirt-pulling bastards. It was just bad luck really.”