Has your friend just been dumped and is drowning in self-pity? Fear not! These comforting sayings might just do the trick:

‘Dying alone is dying your way’

Skip the drama of sharing your final moments with someone else; embrace the freedom of becoming plant food in peace.

‘You’re free to be a loser on your own terms’

No more pretending to like your partner's weird hobbies. It's time to enjoy Space 1999 in your undies, guilt-free!

‘The hassle of building a future together is a thing of the past’

Forget about those future plans. Return to the bliss of stagnation without judgment.

‘Think of all the hot people who can reject you now’

Rejoice in the chance to be turned down by dreamy strangers. It’s thrilling, really.

‘You’ve been here before and you’ll be here again’

Heartbreak is your comfort zone. Why change what works?

‘Most relationships are only built on sex anyway’

Spare yourself the hollow lives of couples who are just in it for the bedroom acrobatics. Who needs that?