The erratic flight patterns of Britain’s butterflies are due to them being permanently drunk.

Research has found that the meandering flapping motions of Cabbage Whites and Red Admirals closely resemble the staggering movements of inebriated individuals leaving a pub or nightclub.

Entomologist Tom Booker said: “You'll never catch butterflies sober enough to fly in formation like geese. They need to admit they have a problem and seek professional help.

“Contrary to popular belief, their proboscis is not for consuming nectar. It's so they can slurp up the last drops of booze in discarded beer bottles and cans of cider. Tragic, really, when you stop and think about it.

“Who knows what butterflies would be capable of if they weren't so addicted to alcohol. Instead, they're aimlessly bouncing from one pub garden to the next severely damaging their livers. That is why they only live for a couple of weeks.

“It's just as well they don't drive or need to use keys to get into their little butterfly houses. They'd be a danger to themselves and others.”

Painted Lady Roy Hobbs said: “I’ve started going to AA. I realised I had a problem when my wife left me and took the caterpillars.”