Australians will pause at 11am tomorrow to observe a minute’s silence, in order to reflect on the hardships endured by rich men who sabotaged their careers on purpose in order to generate maximum media coverage and victimhood status.

Organisers chose 11 as the time for the solemn moment, because it represents the number you get when you add Dave Hughes’s investment properties to the number of mainstream media outlets that chose to uncritically re-publish Karl Stefanovic’s post about his ‘surprise’ sacking, when it was so obvious that it was his intention the whole time.

A ceremony will be held to commemorate the moment, which organisers say will be a chance for ordinary Australians to remember how difficult it must be to earn millions of dollars and have a national platform to voice your opinions.

“It will be similar to an ANZAC day service, but instead of commemorating people who lost their lives defending their country, it will honour rich entertainment industry figures who have to pay a little bit more tax, which in many ways is a bigger sacrifice,” a spokesperson for the event said.

Fiona Dreicha, a nurse from Melbourne, said it was important to remember what these people were fighting for. “They’re out there fighting for our freedom to give soft-ball interviews to Nazi sympathisers and then feigning surprise when they are criticised, which is what the ANZACs were fighting for too … I think”.

Instead of a haunting sound of the bugle playing the last post, the ceremony will feature a long nasal whine.