Government Eases Cost of Living by Halving Excise on Lindt Gold Bunnies

Six thoughtful, sensitive break-up texts that definitely aren't AI generated

Man's trip to Asia all about authentic food, exotic locations and fanny

Police not investigating 92 per cent of burglaries because you can get another PlayStation

Daylight f**ked

Changing a tap, and other useful skills you can learn by watching enough porn

How to tell if your girlfriend has climaxed without troubling to ask, with the Mash sex columnist

Everyone hates VAR, so it's staying

Seething gammons, and others whose screen time should be limited to an hour a day

We ask you: If Britain's such a Christian country, what's Palm Sunday about?

How to find out everything that's wrong with your friend by going on holiday with her

Chappell Roan: Should I hate her now?

Iran launches one-point 'You'll f**k off eventually' plan for peace

The Archbishop of Canterbury on… the Met, totally successful at stopping terrorism by elderly women

Trump: is he insulting Britain, which is bad, or Starmer, which is bloody brilliant?

Asda warns of petrol shortages, knowing full well how mental you f**kers will get

The coward's way to stay out of bravery award situations

Can you find Morgan McSweeney's phone and instantly end the Starmer government?

Couple have four children but otherwise seem sane

I'm Ryan Gosling and you may be entitled to compensation

Ordinary, decent, salt-of-the-earth Brits criminalised for donating half a million in Bitcoin to Reform

New AI-Powered Staffer Brings Robot to White House Event

Giving way is a sign of weakness, drivers confirm

Two-mile queue to register at NHS brothel

War drives hatred of benefits claimants up to 2006 levels

I'm sick of influencers filming their TikToks in front of my wheelie bin

Schools banning phones then giving out homework on them