Influencers gutted Santa Experience isn't shit enough to go viral

Kelly Brook, and other celebrities you'd feel awkward meeting after decades of self-abuse

Is Timothee Chalamet secretly EsDeeKid, Banksy, DB Cooper and the Zodiac Killer?

Bastille, and other posh twats who released albums rather than going into investment banking

Pissed on mulled cider and roast chestnut reflux: The gammon food critic's Victorian Christmas fayre

Kate dresses up as Queen to drop hint

Seven key differences between Christmas markets and hell: A guide for melodramatic twats

Man wonders what it would feel like not being the one getting dumped

I am the last of Britain's authentic f**king hellraisers, by Holly Willoughby

Country barely occupying fifth of Ukraine threatening war on Europe

We ask you: are you sad you may never be called for jury service?

Meghan wedges mince pie inside live turkey then wraps it up for Christmas

Dutton Hoping England Beat His Record for Worst Defeat in Brisbane This Year

Liberal Party Completes Post-Election Soul-Searching Exercise: 'No Soul Found'

Guys Who Spent Last 34 Years Talking to a Dinosaur and Singing About Spaghetti, Definitely Not Associated With Drugs

Retailers launch F**k You, We're Jacking The Price Right Up Tuesday

Dad belatedly realises how f**ked up paper rounds were

Can you tell the difference between Reform and The Island Of Reject Tories?

Donald Trump's guide to wrongly thinking people enjoy your anecdotes

Adult-rated live Paddington sex show wins rave reviews from critics

Six roleplay scenarios to make you both feel like twats, with the Mash sex columnist

Prisoners released early to make Britain more exciting

Matt McCusker Unpacks Fatherhood, Gluten And Magic Sketchers In "The Speed Of Light"

Santa Releases Naughty, Nice, and Epstein List

Albo Compiles List of Romantic Honeymoon Destinations (in Electorates on a Margin of Less Than 5%)

How to decorate your desk in a hollow charade of HR-compliant Christmas joy

Stereophonics, and other bands who hit the glass ceiling of being Welsh