INSPIRATIONAL memoir The Salt Path has been exposed as the conspicuous nonsense it was all along. These are the questions every middle-class reading group didn’t ask: 

‘Can walking really cure a degenerative illness?’ 

It’s nice to believe a seaside stroll can make terminal illnesses and self-imposed poverty disappear. But that would mean the anti-vaxxer from Coast is a health deity, which is unlikely, given his appearances on GB News. Hiking isn’t a remedy for corticobasal degeneration.

‘Is anyone really called Raynor Winn and Moth? 

Do these sound like names? Who wouldn’t sigh upon meeting such a couple?

‘Could dirty underhanded thieving be described as a bad investment?’ 

Being victims of a vague business flop sounds better than ‘embezzler goes on run in tent’. Though owning a house in France suggests it was a grand bourgeois adventure of pretending poverty, like when Martin dodges buying a round.

‘Is the South West Coast Path life affirming?’ 

The pyramids are breathtaking. The Grand Canyon fills you with awe. Neglected Cornish paths overlooking sewage-filled waves affirm little. Follow the Salt Path and you might end up walking into the sea with stones in your pockets.

‘Did they even walk it?’ 

A book about a walk climbing four Everests should mention the terrain. But Winn and Moth glide along the coast like it’s an airport travelator fueled only by Pot Noodles. Check Uber and Deliveroo’s records for when they were supposedly walking.

‘Did the publisher and Hollywood know all along?’ 

A Gillian Anderson film adaptation doesn’t just happen. Legal experts have ensured no one can prove it false, resulting in lots of cash for all involved, which might have been the plan all along.