The world nervously awaits Donald Trump waking, being told Israel has unilaterally launched drones at Iran, yawning and moving on.
The president had earlier warned Israel against strikes and the US said it would not offer air support, signaling a major diplomatic breach between the countries were Trump not to back Israel whatever.
An aide said: “This isn’t like when Ukraine destroyed all those Russian bombers, which he felt was a major escalation and very unfair on Putin, who lost billions.
“With North Korea it’s a love-hate thing for Kim and him. China he respects their money. Iran’s the last of the world’s crazy assholes he doesn’t have a grudging respect for, though he did go through three Big Macs watching their military parade.
“And Israel does whatever it wants, obviously. That’s a cornerstone of US policy. You can’t get elected over here if you don’t pledge to allow Israel free rein in all matters. Goes without saying.”
At press time, Trump is expected to hold a press conference later today claiming it was his idea while simultaneously blaming all wars everywhere on Joe Biden.
Source: The Daily Mash (UK)