In what government insiders have described as a simple case of getting a bit too caught up in the Halloween spirit, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has accidentally handed over Australia’s entire mineral wealth to a 70-year-old little American boy dressed up as a pumpkin wearing a blonde wig. Sources say Albo – who was dressed in a hard hat and high-vis – was supposed to be handing out chocolates to local kids but got carried away and ended up giving away neodymium and praseodymium instead.

The trick-or-treater in question threatened to break all ties with Austria and start a war with Iran if he didn’t get what he wanted. “He also threatened to knock down half of The Lodge and replace it with a hideous 40,000 sq metre ballroom, which was what really frightened Albo,” one insider confirmed.

“He probably could have got away with giving him a Big Mac and a few Coca Colas. But instead he panicked and handed over a 400-page contract granting exploration rights across Western Australia”.

When asked if he would consider doing the same next year, the PM said it depended on what was left. “Maybe we’ll give out the Murray-Darling Basin, or a few airports. Gotta keep the kids excited!”

The trick-or-treater later claimed he had “Won Halloween in a landslide”.