It's that time of year again when The Onion's crack team of film critics, who may or may not be chained to their desks, break down the most-anticipated movies of the summer for you! Get ready for a hearty laugh as they take on Hollywood's finest.

The Surfer: Starring Nicolas Cage, this psychological thriller delves into the terrifying world of not knowing if young people are mocking you behind your back. Cage is sure to deliver his usual flair!

Another Simple Favor: The sequel to the 2018 hit promises more twists, turns, and fabulous outfits that might just make you question if the fashion show was worth the price of admission.

Juliet & Romeo: The title itself suggests a fresh take on the classic love story. Brace yourself for unexpected plot twists!

Thunderbolts*: Stay seated for the post-credits scene where Florence Pugh contemplates the hefty paycheck, reminiscing about her days in Little Women.

Rust: The prequel to The Baldwins is set to hit the big screens, and the anticipation is palpable!

Karate Kid: Legends: Daniel LaRusso is back, training the next generation in the fine art of frozen yogurt consumption post-karate class. It's a must-watch for fans of the franchise!

Hurry Up Tomorrow: The Weeknd's acting phase continues, and we're all just holding on for dear life.

Transformers: The Interminables: Prepare for more convoluted plots involving Forasic Stones and Wind Decoders. Transformers fans, this one's for you!

F1: Brad Pitt takes the wheel in this action-packed film, determined to prove that race car drivers are indeed athletes.

Smurfs: This star-studded musical fantasy comedy includes graphic scenes that will leave you questioning their PG rating. But hey, Smurfs don't have human genitalia, so technically it's not what you think!

NCIS: When all else fails, bring a TV show to the big screen. If that gets butts in seats, then mission accomplished!

The Fantastic Four: First Steps: The saga continues, regardless of previous box office failures. This franchise just won't quit!

Together: Dave Franco and Alison Brie star as a couple trying to avoid their real-life famous relatives. Awkward family gatherings, anyone?

From The World Of John Wick: Ballerina: The film is so good they had to remind you of John Wick in the title. Need we say more?

The Fugitive: What more can be said? The Fugitive is a timeless classic. It's always a good time to watch this masterpiece.