Waking up with a hangover so intense it could melt a toilet bowl, I reflect on a week filled with ecclesiastical drama.

I was invited to Radio 4's Thought For The Day to ponder the existence of God and the curious creation of Wes Streeting, whom I described in less-than-flattering terms. My musings were abruptly cut off, sparking listener complaints about the rude interruption.

Over breakfast, I read about the Labour Party's dubious plan to seize asylum seekers' jewelry, likening it to tactics from Nazi Germany's playbook. This prompted a rant on the absurdity of such policies.

Donald Trump, not one to miss out on the action, told a female reporter to 'Quiet, piggy.' I noted the irony of such a comment coming from someone who's been feasting on the US economy like a pig at a trough.

Allison Pearson's fantasy about asylum seekers disturbing Winnie The Pooh was another highlight. I suggested rounding up and isolating those responsible for such ludicrous writing.

Lastly, I touched on Sarah Hurwitz's take on Holocaust education, which she claims confuses young people into sympathizing with the 'wrong' side. I questioned the twisted logic behind her arguments, expressing disbelief that she once wrote speeches for Obama.