The fast food industry is at it again, launching Christmas menus that are about as festive as a snowless Christmas. Items like the 'Meat Lovers Whopper sandwich' with chorizo and chipotle sauce are touted as holiday treats, though one struggles to recall a yuletide tradition involving chorizo carving.

News outlets eagerly announce these new menu items, as if the latest burger is on par with world events. Meanwhile, the existence of 'McDonald’s fans'—those who eagerly await the return of McRibs—makes even questionable hobbies seem appealing.

Traditional Christmas foods are twisted into fast food versions like Greggs’ 'Christmas Lunch Soup', which sounds about as appetizing as a liquidized steak through a nasal tube. Marketing teams scramble to make these items relevant, often resorting to outdated themes, like McDonald's using 'The Grinch', a character remembered as much for Jim Carrey's herpes scandal as for holiday cheer.

Restaurants like KFC are hilariously suggested as Christmas destinations, though one wonders who would choose a fast-food joint over family gatherings. Despite the holiday rebranding, the core menu items remain unchanged, with only minor tweaks like stuffing in a chicken burger or 'Grinch Salt' on fries, as unnecessary as Elf on the Shelf-themed adult content.