PALO ALTO, CA—In a shocking twist of fate for the affluent, a report from Stanford Business School has revealed that rising income inequality is forcing wealthy Americans to double their yacht collection. Once able to sail comfortably with just a single reliable vessel, today's elite are finding themselves compelled to purchase a backup sailboat. According to lead researcher Robert Anthony, navigating the turbulent waters of financial inequality now requires at least two 40-foot luxury sailing vessels. In some cases, the truly fortunate are managing up to three, strategically placed at different marinas to ensure their summer tans are never interrupted.

"For those at the top of the socioeconomic ladder, adding a second double-masted sailing ship isn't a luxury—it's a necessity," Anthony explained. "In fact, in the swankiest neighborhoods, spotting the primary earner is as rare as finding a parking spot at a popular brunch spot—because they're perpetually at sea, managing their fleet." The report also highlighted the growing disparity in wealth, noting that America's richest are now confronted with the heart-wrenching choice between an infinity pool or a saltwater pool for their additional properties in California's wine country.