As negotiations entered their second week, delegates say little progress has been made on an agreement for how to pronounce the body of water separating Iran and Oman.

Sources inside the negotiation say that early optimism collapsed within minutes of opening statements, when a British delegate confidently offered ‘HOR-muzz’ and was immediately countered by an American counterpart’s ‘hor-MOOZE’.

“A third delegate suggested ‘hor-MUZ’ and it now feels like we’re further away than when we started,” one insider said.

Delegates were determined to reach an agreement, but progress has stalled. “We’ve all come here in good faith. But every time we think we’ve reached consensus, someone says it out loud again and half the room recoils,” one delegate said.

Tensions escalated late last night when a compromise proposal, allowing each country to pronounce “Hormuz” however it pleased as long as it sounded “reasonably confident”, was rejected on the grounds that confidence levels vary too widely to be enforceable.

Meanwhile, a faction of hardliners has refused to participate unless the group acknowledges what they call “the obvious, correct pronunciation,” though they have declined to clarify what that pronunciation is, instead saying, “you know it when you hear it”.

A temporary cease-fire has been negotiated in which all sides have agreed not to say the word for 48 hours, to allow things to cool down.