A Londoner’s journey to work resembles Odysseus’s journey home from Troy according to her self-serving account of the saga.

Carolyn Ryan of Croydon claimed to have used seven different forms of transport to reach her central London office during a Tube strike because, as she put it, the world would simply collapse without her presence.

“Outsiders wouldn’t understand,” she said. “I began by walking for 45 minutes, caught a tram, then an overground train, which is completely different from a normal Underground train no matter what my mum says.”

Her second train terminated early, so she caught a bus going the wrong way, spotted a discarded Lime bike and cycled to a cable car, which took her to an Uber boat up the Thames. A quick scooter ride later and she was there.

“It just shows how ingenious and adaptable we Londoners are and what a wealth of transport options we have. I’m prouder to live here than ever. And it only cost £835.90 on my Oyster card.”

Tube driver Bill McKay commented, “You can’t even massively inconvenience the f**king bastards without it becoming an opportunity for one-upmanship.”