Your boisterous, irrepressible dog is fun and full of character. Everyone you meet definitely feels the same way, so it’s fine to do the following:

Let him off the lead: Anyone out in a public place is thrilled to have a random dog leaping up at them and barking wildly. Parents take their toddlers to the park hoping for such encounters. If your dog steals picnicking strangers' ham sandwiches, even better.

Take him everywhere you go: Cafes aren’t for relaxing, they're for you and your dog to make an entrance. His barking and lunges will be the talk of the room. Yummy mummies are definitely laughing, not gagging.

Ignore all hygiene concerns: Germs? What are those? If your dog has licked the Victoria sponge you're serving, guests will laugh at his antics and not think about hygiene.

Laugh off misbehavior as delightful: Your dog isn’t dangerous, just a naughty boy. His growls are like goals in a football match: essential. Any child bitten should just get over it.

Expect friends to look after him: Boarding kennels treat all dogs the same. Friends will relish the privilege of picking up dog poop and fixing their chewed-up carpets.

Put a photo of him on your Christmas cards: Christmas is incomplete without a picture of your terrifying hound. It’s a festive reminder of what they’re missing.