How to make a kitten on a pizza: Seven pointless things you learned from AI training

SEVEN-and-a-half million Britons will be trained in AI by 2030. Your workplace AI course leads you to question the value of this, because here’s what you learned:


AI is boring


AI training often involves bland, noncommittal text filled with buzzphrases like ‘core values’. It's as exciting as being stuck on a train with someone endlessly discussing their expensive hiking boots.


You can make an image of a kitten eating pizza


Or a fox with an ice cream, or Cthulhu at the gym. The possibilities are endless, yet utterly pointless. Soon, making a picture of mice on a rollercoaster might even be a requirement for government benefits.


It won’t let you do porn


While AI could be a game-changer for adult content, training software blocks anything remotely risqué, thwarting creative endeavors like a sexy lady badger in lingerie.


You are now qualified to read a short précis of a topic


After AI training, you can get a concise summary of any topic, just like the Google AI Overview you see daily. Who knew simplifying your world would require so much training?


AI is instantly recognisable as AI


AI-generated images, whether good or bad, are unmistakably AI. It's as if they were trained exclusively on art from the 1980s featuring big-haired women on motorcycles.


You have learned AI is frequently wrong


AI often provides hilariously incorrect information, like claiming the Sopwith Camel's World War II exploits or making up popular sayings. It’s a future where our knowledge is just slightly off, like a crooked picture frame.


AI video will give you new and interesting nightmares


Two days of AI training could lead to nightmares about women with cheeseburger hands turning into sharks. Tired of your usual nightmares? AI’s got you covered with endless new ones, especially after refining your AI skills.

Source: The Daily Mash (UK)

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