Knowing what to say to would-be parents going through fertility treatment can be difficult. They’ll appreciate these sensitive, thoughtful questions: 

‘Have you thought about shagging other people?’

In the midst of emotionally draining medical treatments, it may not have occurred to your friend that if her husband’s sperm is weak, she could always get pregnant with a proven father, like Gary from the recruitment team. Or if she’s the problem, her husband could have sex with her sister?

‘Are you worried because my uncle did IVF, and my cousin’s a prick?’ 

Not all stories of test tube babies end happily. Your ‘miracle baby’ relative Michael might be a jerk, but that's probably because he wasn’t conceived naturally.

‘Do you get to choose their hair colour?’

There are rumors that Elon Musk uses IVF for specific traits, so maybe your mate is fishing for strawberry blonde hair or big naturals in their offspring.

‘Who’s got the problem?’

It’s worth investigating whose genitalia has been cursed by God, so you know who to side with if it doesn’t work out.

‘Is this just because you want twins?’ 

Twins are fun and freaky, so if your friends are looking to double up and get it all over with quicker, you salute their efficiency.

‘Have you considered adopting?’

It's possible the couple hasn't realized there are loads of unwanted kids out there, and they don’t even cost anything.