The Middle East conflict has entered its third day, and there is already a huge amount you are deliberately avoiding learning about it, including all this:

Why it’s happening: You're not even sure where Iran is, and the complexity of the situation is a reminder of how little you know. You'd rather remain blissfully ignorant, much like a dog.

How it will affect you: Like the war in Ukraine, this conflict might make things like fuel and chocolate more expensive, driving you to seek comfort in cheese.

When it will end: Middle East conflicts never seem to end neatly. They fade into the background until a dramatic exit is needed to save face and money.

If it will escalate: Given the involvement of nuclear weapons, things might get worse before they get better, potentially spiraling into World War Three or nuclear war, neither of which appeals to you more than watching Instagram Reels.

How Britain is involved: The UK's strategy is to kind of be involved, but not really, which pleases absolutely nobody. Classic Starmer style.

What Trump has to say about it: Expect regular, erratic updates from Trump, who is still upset about not receiving a Nobel Peace Prize. You'd rather ignore these rants entirely.