The BBC has issued an amber Children In Need warning across BBC1 and Radio 2 starting this morning and continuing until 10pm tonight.

Viewers in the affected areas are advised to prepare for a surge of charitable giving, which will intensify as the afternoon progresses and linger well into the evening, potentially disrupting your usual Friday night plans of being tipsy.

Forecaster Francesca Johnson commented, “If you’re tuning into BBC 2, Radio 4, or 6Music, you’ll likely experience only minor disturbances, maybe a few shout-outs to Sara Cox. But those on BBC1 or Radio 2—brace yourselves. You’re right in the path of Storm Pudsey.”

Johnson continued, “Expect special episodes of Apprentice, Strictly, and Gladiators, all featuring children, plus the Children in Need choir performing Coldplay’s Yellow. Hosted by the likes of Big Zuu, Paddy McGuiness, Vernon Kay, and Rochelle Humes, it’s especially perilous for the elderly. And there's a high threat of a live performance by Lewis Capaldi.”

“Some viewers might find themselves overwhelmed by a month's worth of sentimentality packed into one evening. But fear not, regular programming will resume by Saturday.”

Julian Cook from Bermondsey summed it up, “I’d gladly pay a tenner just to make it stop.”