In Calgary, as locals enjoy a perfect summer day, a baby bunny in a park has become the subject of concern and amusement among visitors. Unlike its peers, this bunny seems to lack the survival instincts needed for the coming winter's harsh conditions.
One picnicker noted, "A lot of the little bunnies are already foraging and hiding from people and dogs, but that adorable dumbass is just sitting there twitching his nose. I could have fried rabbit for dinner tonight if I wanted."
Another visitor, tossing a frisbee, remarked, "Wow, he has absolutely no idea that the haunting spectre of death is coming for his cute tuchus. Six months from now, I'll be in Cabo while his lower half is passing through some crow's digestive tract. Makes you think."
According to an animal biology expert, many of the cute wildlife we enjoy in summer are essentially helpless prey for more aggressive animals. "He's definitely the fuzziest bunny in the park, and he might even be the wuzziest, but that just makes him stand out to apex predators," said zoologist Andrea Kent. "Some raggedy coyote is going to gobble him up and shit out his bones onto an apartment building's front steps."
The park's location, bordered by a major road, a feral cat colony, a falconry centre, a pesticide factory, and a lawnmower testing facility, poses additional challenges that the bunny seems ill-equipped to handle.
"Unfortunately, many of nature's cutest creations are also its stupidest," Kent explained. "Look, he just tried to eat a rock. Oh, and that squirrel over there is fucked too."
At press time, the doomed bunny was charming onlookers by sniffing a flower that will also soon be dead.
Source: The Beaverton (Canada)