In an effort to modernise the Monarchy and use titles that more properly reflect reality, Buckingham Palace has confirmed that Prince Andrew is to now be referred to by the more accurate name “Bullshit Artist Formally Known Prince”.

Palace officials confirmed the change late on Thursday, saying it reflects “His Ex-Highness’s ongoing commitment to reinventing himself as a man of absolutely no accountability and ridiculous excuses”.

Royal biographer Chester Tillgate-Boddington said the move was long overdue. “For years, Andrew has been crafting elaborate tales about pizza restaurants and sweat glands. Frankly, the man’s output rivals Tolkien. The ‘Bullshit Artist’ title just formalises what we’ve all known. I think it’s a wonderful move”.

The new title is said to be inspired by the late musician Prince. The two share a name, but instead of releasing music, Andrew will continue to release statements insisting he was at a Pizza Express in Woking on the night he was accused of having sex with an underage girl.

When asked for comment, Andrew reportedly said he was “thrilled” by the new title, though he admitted he doesn’t really understand titles, or consequences.

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Headline by Andrew Peters