The organizers of Adelaide's rapidly diminishing writing festival have decided to embrace the inevitable, rebranding the event as Adelaide Writer's Week to reflect the number of authors participating—one, to be precise. The decision comes after more than 180 authors withdrew following the controversial cancellation of Palestinian-Australian writer Dr. Randa Abdel-Fattah, leaving a guy named Brian as the sole literary figure.

A festival spokesperson expressed their devastation over the mass withdrawal but highlighted the importance of grammatical accuracy in the festival's name, proving that even in chaos, proper punctuation reigns supreme. After some soul-searching, they decided the apostrophe needed a makeover. "We realized the apostrophe was doing a lot of heavy lifting," the spokesperson admitted, claiming the change isn't a downscale but rather a daring curatorial choice to spotlight a single voice.

Brian, the festival's remaining author, has been upgraded from mere panellist to the entire program. He's set to perform in all 142 sessions throughout the week, sometimes simultaneously, like a one-man literary army. "He'll be engaging in conversations with himself on a range of safe, pre-approved topics. It's going to be intellectually unchallenging and full of uncontroversial ideas. We can't wait!" the spokesperson added with enthusiasm.