Ensuring your elderly parents make it to a family gathering or a doctor's appointment can feel like a mini-epic. Here's the exasperating journey step-by-step:

1. Have they remembered they’re going? Spoiler: They haven't. Cue the groans.

2. Discussion of weather. It might rain, turn into a blizzard, or Hoth itself, so gloves are advised.

3. Use of toilet suggested. This results in a lengthy debate before being ultimately rejected, only to be accepted later.

4. They appear to be taking a long time to get ready. You're upstairs checking, only to find them entranced by a fly.

5. Putting on coats. Somehow, this task takes an eternity. They’ve got just two arms!

6. Actually, they will go to the toilet. Resisting the urge to curse is a must to avoid shocking Mum.

7. You point out the time. Time is meaningless in the endless abyss of retirement.

8. Key-carrying responsibility discussed. Dad locks up, Mum carries the keys, lip balm, and tissues. Crisis averted.

9. Unnecessary task performed. Heaven forbid those dishes sit for an hour; they might attract an army of rats!

10. Door exited and locked. You feel the stress shaving years off your life.

11. Check that door is locked. Thank heavens for locks that don't unlock themselves.

12. Second check that door is locked. Is this a nuclear plant with all these checks?

13. Open bathroom window noticed. Dad goes back to secure it against doll-sized burglars.

14. Stopping on way to car. A flowerbed inspection is imperative. Geraniums confirmed present.

15. Chat with neighbour. Mrs. Brown's husband is still, unfortunately, dead.

16. Seatbelt torture. Dad battles with the seatbelt as if it were an octopus.

17. Journey begins. Rejected request to return for travel sweets for a short drive.

18. (If walking) Stop to look at something utterly uninteresting. You wish that old age never finds you.

19. Realisation that one has forgotten their glasses. Mum didn't notice the world was a blur. Back home you go, progress undone, tears incoming.